


Tearing Us Apart

by mattzerella_sticks



Series: Season 14 Inspired [30]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Almost Confessions, Angry Castiel (Supernatural), Angry Castiel/Dean Winchester, Angry Dean Winchester, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends Sam & Castiel, Cas pleads his case, Castiel and Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Coda, Dialogue Heavy, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hope vs. Despair, Hopeful Castiel (Supernatural), Hopeful Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied Relationships, M/M, Post-Episode: s14e19 Jack in the Box, References to Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 07:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18516628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattzerella_sticks/pseuds/mattzerella_sticks
Summary: Coda to 14x19 "Jack in the Box"After breaking out of the Ma'lak Box, Jack blips out from the Bunker. Dean's furious the trap didn't work, while Cas is furious at Dean for even attempting to lock Jack away. But then Dean tells him what he has planned, and makes the Box look like the better option. Can Cas make Dean see reason, or does the rage consume him too much that Cas might need to find another way to show Dean that they don't have to go nuclear.





	Tearing Us Apart

**Author's Note:**

> So like this episode was... 'meh'. Which is not what I want to be saying about the penultimate episode for season 14. But like everything that was done was kind of pointless so... 'meh' stays.
> 
> Anyway here's what I managed to salvage from that episode. Enjoy!

            “Dean! Dean I’m not done discussing this!” Castiel follows Dean out the room, on the heels of his hunter’s thunderous steps.

            “There’s nothing _to_ discuss,” Dean yelled, leading Castiel down the expansive, almost never-ending series of hallways. “If there were we’d have a whole lot more plans on the table. But we don’t – there’s only _one_ left.”

            He disappeared around a corner and Castiel sped up. “Dean!” he yelled, “Dean you _cannot_ be suggesting that!” They made it halfway through the Bunker’s main room before Dean stopped and turned on his heel.

            “Oh I am, Cas,” Dean says, “I’ve always been suggesting it. Since the day Jack was born we should’ve ended him right then and there!”

            “You don’t mean that.”

            “And how do you know what I mean?”

            “Because of what Jack means to us. All the good Jack has done,” Castiel tells him, “All the lives he’s saved and the – the joy he’s brought to our family.” Dean’s mask hardly cracks, the indifference only fueling Castiel’s ire. “What he’s brought _back_.”

            “Jack only brought back _pain_ , and _death_ , and –“

            “Me.”

            Dean startles, expression shifting into shock for half a second before falling back into the harsh lines. “You –“

            “Yes, Dean, he brought _me_ back,” Castiel says, inching forward, “When I was trapped in the Empty.” Dean glances away, jaw tightening. Castiel found the flaw in Dean’s armor and he hammers away. “We wouldn’t even be _arguing_ right now if Jack hadn’t saved me from the Empty.”

            “You saved yourself,” Dean says, “Told us you annoyed the Empty into kicking you out.”

            “But Jack woke me up.”

            Dean sighs, kneading at his brows. “We would’ve managed to save you Cas,” he whispers, “I… Maybe we would’ve figured out where angels went…”

            “Dean, you wouldn’t have,” Cas sighs, reaching for him, “Jack… he helped make our family complete. He’s a part of us… been with us through all the good and bad, fought beside us – hell, we launched an effort to _save_ him.”

            “And that’s where we made our mistake,” Dean cuts him off. He shakes off Cas’s touch and steps back. “Trying to bring him back. Why’s it that… why’s it we never learn…” He chokes on a sob, clearing his throat to hide it. Castiel heard him anyway.

            “It’s not about learning, it’s about hope,” Cas tells him, “And _you_ never give up hope – why should we do so now?”

            “Because I don’t have any left to give Cas!” Dean shouts, “You think that shit grows back? No… but life takes, and it takes… and it takes until I have none left to give. I’m all out of hope – burnt it up along with Mom’s corpse.”

            “Dean…” Castiel’s voice wavers, lips twitching. “I… I can’t condone this. Killing Jack –“

            “I wasn’t asking for your permission,” Dean scoffed, “Didn’t when we locked him up, and I’m not now.”

            “Why Dean?” Cas asks him, “He’s our son – I should have as much a say in his fate as you do –“

            “Because I already know what you’re going to say,” Dean tells him, “Why should we fight now when you can be mad at me all you like after.”

            “There’s not going to _be_ an after, Dean.”

            Dean glares at him. “You gonna try and stop me Cas?”

            “If I have to,” Cas says, “But I don’t want to. Not if I don’t have to. Dean, I know there’s still a part of you inside that knows Jack can be saved. That we can still fix this –“

            “There’s nothing left to fix, Cas. You can’t save what’s broken when it’s not there anymore…”

            “He had an accident –“

            “No, Cas, _dogs_ have accidents. _Kids_ have accidents,” Dean seethes with fury, shoulders shaking, “What Jack did _wasn’t_ an accident. He might have said he was sorry but I don’t buy that he _meant_ it. He can’t. He doesn’t have a soul like us –“

            “I don’t have a soul, Dean.”

            He pauses, shaken. Castiel continues, “All I have inside me is grace… and yet here I am. I know the difference between good and evil I _feel_ I…” his chest tightens, fingers tremble. “I feel so much… because of _you_. Because of everything you showed me.” Castiel takes a deep breath. “I… know… that if we can get to Jack and apologize, redouble our efforts in teaching him then maybe we can get back to the Jack we remember. To the strange sort of normalcy we built.”

            “Cas,” Dean starts. His name hangs like a loose thread, his hunter unsure of where to thread it. “Cas,” he tries again, “you… you might not have a soul but you’re – you’re not like _them_. Like _him._ ”

            “And why is that?” Cas asks, “I bleed like my brothers and sisters – I should know, having stabbed many of them. For _you_. Even today, when Duma threatened Mary and John my blade entered her without thought. Everything I do I do for my family… please, we can’t tear ourselves apart from the inside.”

            “I never asked you to do all that Cas,” Dean says, eyes cold and dangerous, “You… sometimes, you can’t save your family no matter how hard you try. Because when the world wants something gone hard enough… it’ll do anything.”

            “Dean –“

            “And I didn’t tear this family apart,” he adds, “ _He_ did.”

            “Jack is _scared_ , _confused_ –“

            “He’s a ticking time bomb and the longer he’s out there the more people are gonna get hurt!”

            “And we can stop him, _together_ ,” Castiel says, “Communicating, _understanding_ … it doesn’t have to be like this.”

            Dean swallowed around a rock. For the first time Castiel couldn’t tell what Dean felt. It was like running his hand along a brick wall, the barrier frightening him. “Is this what this is, Cas?” Dean asks him, “Are you making me choose?”

            Castiel huffs. “I’m not making you do anything. I only _hope_ that whatever you _do_ … you don’t end up regretting.”

            His hunter kicks at the ground, burning holes into the floor. Pocketing his hands, Dean glances up. A wounded look flashes in his eyes before he covers it up once more. “Are we done here?”

            Castiel sighs. “Yes, we're _done_.” He moves to leave, but freezes inside the doorway. “I just… I want you to know… the Dean Winchester that I… that I…” the word can barely escape past his lips, “that I _care for_ … he won’t be able to pull the trigger on someone he considers family.”

            “You know that for sure?”

            “I’ll let our history be answer enough.” He leaves after that, storming down the hall. Castiel doesn’t get very far, a hand shooting out to stop him.

            Sam steps out, frowning. “Hey.”

            Castiel glances back out the room he left. “How much did you hear.”

            “A lot… what was said and…”

            “Yes.”

            Sam offers him a comforting smile. “I think you did a good job,” he says, “Dean, though, he’s not someone who can change his mind easily. You need more than one person…”

            Castiel nods. “Are you going to talk to him?”

            “Yeah,” Sam tells him, “I agree with you. I’m sorry we put Jack in the box, I didn’t… I didn’t want to do that either. Figured it was better than Dean’s alternative…”

            “Go,” Castiel says, “Tag in as people would say.”

            Sam does, stepping in only seconds after Castiel walked out. Castiel waits a few minutes, listening in to their conversation. When Dean raises his voice again, he fights back a snarl. Then he continues on the path he chose after talking with Dean, before he was interrupted.

            Dean’s room isn’t far off from where he was. He enters with no hesitation, the space as much as his as it was Dean’s. Castiel heads towards the nightstand, opening the second drawer. It’s filled with his hunter’s hidden entertainment – magazines, lube, a vibrator, and two pairs of panties. He finds what he came for hidden under pink satin.

            Castiel holds the spare set of keys up and smirks. Dean mentioned them off-hand once, saying he made them in case Sam decided to prank him and hide the first set. He feels bad for a beat before tamping it down. Then he stalks off towards the garage.

            It won’t stop his hunter, but it’ll slow him down. On the way towards Baby, Castiel shoots off a quick prayer to Jack. Nothing elaborate, just a simple plea. Asking him for a chance to talk. To try and make up for all that happened in his absence.

            He’s not sure if it’ll work. But he has faith in himself and his family, that they can move past this dark night and into the sunlight even if he has to drag them there himself. God might not intervene, but Castiel has no problem with it.

            Even if every attempt to fix things on his own has ended in failure, Castiel will never give up. He might fall but he’ll get back up again. Talk with Jack, convince him to come back and show Dean that there is something left to fix.

            He holds onto that the entire drive.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I crush your soul? Unlike Jack I can't make angels I can only break them.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Drop a kudos/comment underneath!! :D


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